Finding

Everyday is finding something for me. Like i know something new on the internet, from friends, from the news, TV, anything possible to get the information. Everyday is deciding something, about your career, your economy, your love life, your family, your environment. 

I took this photo in Benua Patra, Balikpapan

Today is good Sunday, good weekend with good friends. And i don't know, i think everyday is like a confession from the honesty. What we hear, what we see, what we read. We finally know, day by day, the truth is happen in our life and we have to face this. The good news that i heard from my friend is she admiring me and my family so much. You know, exactly she didn't want to tell me about them (inspired people). And when i know that they're us (my family), i can't believe it. We are ordinary family, who don't have father in our home anymore. Just it.

But she said that she awing us who can survive after the lost and grieve almost one year. Oh she didn't know the truth. The truth is we pretend like we have no lost at all. We still believe, my father is still here, in somewhere i don't know. Then i realize, just after she told me about that. She awing us so much. I realize that, we have to stop believe about that, and back to realize the truth that our lovely man has gone.

However, we are us who always enjoy this life. And me.. I'm trying to make our life better. Dream helps me. I want to make it real now. I have that spirit. About the pending list, and all of the story that i can't tell to my dad. And about our dream to have better house to live. He gave me the clues, what should i do next after he wasn't here anymore. And it's hurt. Hurt. Hurt. Then i get up. 

The fact is that we have to face this life without him anymore. This is not a sadness. Just.. realizing that what we lost, we can't get it back. Just keep going with what we have.. to get what we deserve in the future. 

كُلُّ مَنْ عَلَيْهَا فَانٍ ﴿٢٦﴾ وَيَبْقَى وَجْهُ رَبِّكَ ذُو الْجَلَالِ وَالْإِكْرَامِ ﴿٢٧

Meaning : (26) All that is on earth will perish:” (27) But will abide (for ever) the Face of the Lord,- full of Majesty, Bounty and Honour. (Q.S. Ar-Rahmaan (55):26-27