Concepting "New but Old" Thing

It's my second year in Malang. 2026 comes faster, i turn 32 this year. I remember when i started this blog in 2013, it's 13 years ago. Now i am still into writing but not too active. But the mood is coming again recently. I got a good vibe to write lyric again, maybe because it is my month? I am not expecting anything but to live my days calmly and of course with much of money, i hope.

Why "concepting new but old thing"? Yes, move to another city is always my dreams since i was 20s. But i let it stay for too long, i kept it in my mind. And also, for the other things from small to big ones. If the biggest one is done, then i need to do the rest now. It won't start easy but because it's been too long in my own head, i bet it would turn okay. All i need to do is start and to make it happen, i need to make it clear. Listing, making the big picture until the details, budget estimation. It will be more complex, but the road will seem clear. Of course, i have to keep it private for now since i know that telling our plan does not seem a good option. 

What i am doing right now? 

Survive, yes, i might not seem like a hard worker. I used to work with thinking and creativity, but the working hard never be my work style or i will do it quietly. So, no one can see that part from me. And the second is doing my therapy. I am still on my medication. Living in this city really helps me to do that. While i am following the free tips from Liam, i am going to continue my income survival and then i will complete the course, i hope so. Those two things are my priority, wealth and health. What about love? It's okay, it will follow.

Hi Ty!

Hi Ty, iam typing to you, myself, i might read this again tomorrow or 3 months later or 1 year later. I am tired now, been using my headset for 3 hours ago to block the room owner's voice. They are so noisy in the morning especially at the weekend. I want to write this because why not?! No one knows where i live right now. Every time i feel like something ruins my privacy, i have to make a decision. Wait, i have to use my headset again, they're so annoying. Listening to Linkin Park should be best for now. 

I am questioning myself as a renter "is my privacy allowed to be annoyed?" I mean in all contexts. So, i need to filter more for my live place. Is it always involving money? Yes, but i don't know how much i can gain in short time. If i have to move, it should be at the same price or better than this. Too many options here but for the best are always full booked or rented already. The ideal one is to get a 1-bedroom apartment (haha). 

I am busy with Planner5D nowadays. Trying to visualize my ideal house picture. I am going to update soon as i finish the design. I also trying to walk the talk. I don't have small target, only the big things left, but even the big one has to be started from the small one. Sleeping habits, workout routine, healthy eat, and so on. I realize that why is adult's life is so tricky and tiring. But actually, i can make it simpler. We can always choose what to do, to do what i love, to do what i can. And remember to work hard, play hard. Seems it has to be 50:50. Balance. 

Some says it's forbidden to talk about your plans. Well, i have nothing to lose. So, it's better to talk about the achievements? 

1. I moved alone (not my first time) but this one is the most far from home
2. I get to know my real self, how i react to any situations including to control all of my emotional conditions
3. Think simpler and efficient 
4. Finally understand that i love to live alone, all in my control

I am wondering if i have a starting point like this, let's say from zero.. what should i do to make it better? Better as i can live to the fullest. Try this and that, visit here and there. Time and money freedom. I know it and only me who knows how to achieve that. And finally, here's my talk again. I just want to re-read this one day if i finally cross-over my big list. See you on top!

336. Makeup & Skincare

Itch on my belly

I did not know where it is come from

But red dots a bit bothers me

Use makeup and skincare

Repurchase

Sleep, eat, pray, prepare to work

Repeat

New routine, adapting

New faces, classic conversation

Sunny days, hot

Windy nights, cold

Blue top and bottom

Trouble sleeping

Life is about balancing

Life is about reacting

So until then

I am going to be fine

Until then

I don't have to use any makeups

And we won't be overthink about anything

But our future is a reflection

Of what we're doing right now

I Can't Believe It

When your doctor said "this is not a life-threatening illness" it means you as a patient have to adapt and accept your pain every day or forever? Am i wrong? I just need help to cure my pain. It is been a year since August 2023. I don't whether Covid that causing it, or my motobike accident in 2013 or anomaly since i was a kid. If the doctors are confused, then what should we do as a patient ?

This is not a life-threatening illness but make me want to die. It annoys me every single day, every single hour and minutes. I can't sleep well, i can't rest i can't do normal activities as much as i want. I have been patiently, optimistically, waiting for me meeting the right doctor. Now it's been 3 months with the right hands but i don't see any changes. What should i do? Am i not allowed to be sad, mad, frustrate, depressed. Should i be fake happy? I've been there.. I tried to act normal so no one ask about my condition, even my family. No one ask. I have some strangers in my life who cares about me. Sometimes it's both make me happy and sad. 

I have talk to them who is cured. They're so kind, telling me what to do since the first screening. It is not easy to get here today. I have to meet several doctors, i have to accept their words that they want me to adapt with my illness. "It is just a sound of your blood flow, so what can we do?" Damnit.

I've been so patient, i've mad, i've cried, i've tried to do normal stuff like normal people without a rare disease. I avoid toxic people, toxic positivity, fake cares, i just avoid fake people that make my life heavier. It is one of stress relieving. It is a way of medication too. 

But i am just tired. Not like i am not being grateful. It is a pure human feeling, and it is my rights to cry or sad or mad. It is my rights to search the cure. 

DSA, June 2024

Half of 2023

December, 2023

Rumah sakit yang sama dengan bulan September lalu, namun berbeda poli. Poli ini pun bukan yang pertama melainkan yang kedua. Timelinenya di mulai dari bulan Agustus 2023. THT-KL pertama di RS Restu Ibu, dua kali kunjungan namun belum reda setelah mengkonsumsi obat flu/alergi, vitamin saraf, dan pelancar darah.

Pun, belum jelas apa diagnosa pastinya. Self-diagnosed bukan hal yang baik, tapi nggak bisa dipungkiri, begitu banyak pikiran di dalam kepala sejak 5 bulan lalu. Sedari awal ke fasilitas kesehatan, diagnosanya berbeda-beda, namun pastinya seputar masalah telinga. Dari 'otitis media, unspecified' dan terakhir kali ke spesialis THT-KL, diagnosanya 'Tinnitus'.

Berbagai artikel online aku baca dan begitu banyak faktor-faktornya, begitu luas sampai akhirnya mengerucut sendiri akibat inisiatif membaca dengan seksama. Self-diagnosed tidak baik, namun so far, ini mengarah kepada Pulsatile Tinnitus, subjective. Begitu banyak juga penyembuhannya dari orang-orang yang sudah sembuh, salah satunya adalah operasi gigi geraham bungsu. Satu hal yang masih aku takuti sejak 2015 sampai akhirnya berani di tahun ini. Ikhtiar ke dokter bedah mulut, RS Balikpapan Baru, namun rontgen dilakukan di RS Beriman. Lalu, aku terbiasa dengan aktifitas itu, drama bolak-balik faskes, demi mengetahui penyebab pasti penyakitku. 

Sampai sini, apakah ada yang salah dengan keputusanku? Aku merasa sedikit kesalahan, karna tidak percaya dengan dokter THT-KL yang pertama. Kesalahan itu diperkuat dengan statement dokter bedah mulut yang mengatakan "impacted teeth tidak ada hubungannya dengan tinnitus. dokter nggak janji ya kalau operasi gigi bisa menyembuhkan tinnitusnya"

Aku menjawab, "iya dok ngga papa"

Tetap harus dilakukan, karna akan menabrak gigi depannya. Dan kebetulan gigi yang harus diangkat pertama adalah sebelah kanan atas, sisi yang sama dengan telinga yang mengalami tinnitus.

Timeline lengkap:

1 Aug - pertama kali terjadi di telinga kanan

6 Aug - semakin intens 24jam, susah tidur

9 Aug - ke THT diresepkan cetirizine, mecobalamin, methylprednisolone

16 Aug - ke THT diresepkan flunarizine, mecobalamin, cereton

27 Aug - ke dokter bedah mulut

9 Oct - operasi gigi geraham bungsu kanan atas

suara ditelinga berangsur hilang dan jarang muncul

Akhir Nov - pilek nggak sembuh-sembuh, hidung kiri mampet, suara ditelinga muncul lagi intens

Kemungkinan-kemungkinan

Akhirnya, setelah menunggu seminggu karna dokter THT yang dituju masih cuti, 12 Desember jadi hari pertama konsultasi dengan beliau. Sangat ramah dan konsultasinya berisi, edukatif dan membicarakan kemungkinan-kemungkinan yang bisa menjadi sebab terjadinya tinnitus di telinga kananku. Diagnosa baru pun muncul dengan nama 'Oklusi Tuba Eustachius'. Aku lalu di beri obat pilek, lambung, radang, dan obat semprot hidung. Lalu diarahkan untuk mengikuti terapi sinar sebanyak 10x di poli rehabilitasi medik di rumah sakit yang sama.

Timeline terbaru:

12 Dec - ke THT yang baru

14 Dec - Terapi Rehabilitasi Medik pertama1

8 Dec - Terapi ke2

Sampai dengan terapi ke 7 tidak ada perubahan. Aku dirujuk ke sp. THT di RS lain yang paling lengkap di Balikpapan.

My Very Update

I miss the old days.. When I was work at site. The wealthy feelings. I want that old days comeback for me, with my point of view and mental health like right now. I am ready for it. Eventho I am not that healthy rn, my body’s adapting again after fasting.. but I know I miss the old days. I am ready to take any risk that I want, that I know. Especially for my music, I have my own intention and know how and where to step. I won’t be ordinary person. I know I have to do something extra in the present time to gain something extra in the future. I have enough to carry inside my bag, no need extra baggage to do anything. Because for me I have enough stuff.

First Time Try Infinix Phone!

Recently, i bought the Infinix Note 12 2023 for my brother. It is not the first time i bought him a phone, previously i remember i got him Redmi Note 8 then i switched it to Poco X3 Pro. Unfortunately, the Poco X3 Pro only last for 17 months of using before it completely died. I believe it happened after he upgrade the system to MIUI 13.0.5. But luckily they (Xiaomi) gave an additional 6 months warranty for dead X3 Pro, the final result for my brother's phone was replaced with Poco F4. Such a good luck! I have to sell it out to save some bucks and got him the Infinix Note 12 2023. I think it was a fair replace. It was hard to look up to the other brand.. because we are like Xiaomi family since 2015 eventho last year i use iPhone as my daily driver, this year i switched it back to Xiaomi device. 

This is a challenging thing for me, to find a great phone besides Xiaomi and my brother also love Xiaomi product a lot. But we'll never know 'til we give it a try. I am happy with Infinix in the first day, it feels great on hands and feels like a premium phone. With Helio G99 and a good price (only IDR 2.600.000 at promotion price) i think it's more than enough for my brother's daily driver phone. Actually, he didn't know about the Poco F4 haha. But yeah, i own that decision. 

Mind & The Site: 01. Nikmatnya Pop Mie

Sudah 2 pagi aku melahap pop mie goreng, satu nggak pedas, satunya pedas. Just hoping my stomach's fine. Kenapa sangat nikmat makan pop mie saat stress melanda. Badan yang kemarin lusa meriang, membawa langkahku menuju office clinic dan berujung tes antigen, namun hasilnya negatif. Btw, aku juga dipindah ke kamar karantina. Kalau-kalau gejalanya berlanjut. It's okay, at least aku bisa tidur dengan AC yang nggak terlalu dingin lagi. Actually, itu yang bikin aku sakit berapa hari ini. Rhinitis kambuh, kepala agak ngeblank dan jadi males basa basi di kantor.

Aku makan pop mie, di saat orang-orang khawatir gejala yang aku dapat bakalan jadi serius. Padahal aku sudah komplain dari hari pertama nggak enak badan.

- to be continued..

my experience in 2020

I decided to write my thoughts and daily activity (again). I miss my old self. Meanwhile my mind's rushing, thinking about making videos, a lot of videos but i do nothing this year with video recording, so i guess i'm better in writing. There's so many things i've done year. 

Experienced working for big company until March

Helped Ayu to finish her papers

Got a new job, so i survived while pandemic

5 phones in 1 year ?

Struggling with 5 smartphones, i tried to buy 2ndhand flagship phones, Google Pixel 2 and Sony XZ. I have new experience playing online games caused of this pandemic. Pixel 2 worked fine, superfine but i got a problem with its battery life. Of course it's secondhand. Same as the Sony XZ, but it worst than Pixel 2. The device was extremely hot and battery drained so fast. So i just use them for 1-2 months. I really love the Pixel 2. I swear. Because it's pure android, it's really me. I'm going to buy it when it come to my priority and i have enough money.

I came back to Balikpapan in the 3rd week in March this year after working at coal site. And after switching my Nokia 5.1 Plus to Pixel 2, i switched again to Redmi Note 8. But before it, i switched to Sony XZ and after i sell it, the sales girl offered me Oppo A12 while i was looking for Redmi Note 8. I just experienced with it for 3 hours maybe, then i returned it to the store and switch it to Redmi Note 8. But i didn't like the thickness of that phone. Guess what ? After a few months i sell it, i bought a new phone with alternative for pure android filter activated. So the only option here with the latest android one phone is Nokia 5.3. 

I love the thickness, i love the feel and experience with Android One. I just love the simplicity and that phone is affordable. The package is quiet complete, yes. I got the original clear case, earphone, the charger and the smartphone itself. Pretty nice package. I don't think Nokia is failed. But i don't know why Indonesian reviewers prefer Oppo than Nokia. Not because i don't like Chinese brand. I love Xiaomi, i use Redmi series since the 1st phone (Redmi 1s) to the 8th. Can be said i am a fangirl. I don't like slow phone compared to its price. By the way, Xiaomi also has an Android One phone. But i think Nokia 5.3 is the latest one.

Purchased my dream pickup dan preamp for my acoustic guitar

Start to record my album

Pengalaman Tinggal di Kutai Barat

Mind & The City is my hope, my experience, my observation, my thoughts about the city i live in, the city i visit. I hope i can share any stories under that title, mind & the city. 

Mind & the city is my public diary, everyone can read, and someday my child can read it too; with the older version of me.

Sampai di Kubar

November 2019 jadi pertama kali nya aku berkunjung dan tinggal sementara di Kutai Barat tepatnya di Barong. Barong-Damai jadi rute harian berangkat kerja. Kalau nggak salah akhir bulan November, selang beberapa hari setelah seleksi dan MCU, aku berangkat kesana. Waktu itu ada 2 opsi, pake bis travel atau pesawat, tapi Alhamdulillah dapat tiket pesawat, berasa skip tour kayak di GTA, lol. Sampai disana, i have no idea siapa yang jemput atau harus naik apa ke hotel tujuan yang sudah ditetapkan kantor. Akhirnya aku coba hubungin sekretaris project (padahal waktu itu dia lagi cuti) dan dia coba hubungi driver yang akan jemput. 

First impression ? Kutai Barat itu sangat rapi, tertata. Bangunannya yang jarang-jarang, jadi lebih lega ngeliatnya. Beneran kayak menyederhanakan pandangan. Draw distancenya luas. Komplek pemerintahannya terdiri dari bangunan besar dan punya halaman yang luas-luas. Waktu itu aku langsung menuju ke hotel Sidodadi yang ada di kecamatan Barong Tongkok (salah satu kecamatan dari 16 kecamatan yang ada di Kubar). Kantor Bupati nya sendiri terletak di kecamatan Sendawar.

Nah ini kalau dilihat dari atas :

Source: indoplaces.com

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