the end of "trying hard" phase

i want to stop trying hard

i don't wanna put any expectation

but i won't stop dreaming

i won't stop writing

in this world now, i only focus to my mom

my main family

also my best friend

"only"

i don't wanna take a risk 

to know someone new

to debate with stranger

to live with someone that don't wanna understand me

i want to have a stable life

i dye my hair from light to dark brown

actually i love my black hair

it will show up again soon

i don't want to pick someone 

i will set myself free

do what i want

lay when i'm tired

sing when i'm happy

sleep enough to be healthier

eat well

it is not a statement to be single forever

it is just what i am now

what i want now

in this panic world

i hope everything have a good ending

i only own what i own now

so i will keep it

i don't wanna lose anything anymore