336. Makeup & Skincare

Itch on my belly

I did not know where it is come from

But red dots a bit bothers me

Use makeup and skincare

Repurchase

Sleep, eat, pray, prepare to work

Repeat

New routine, adapting

New faces, classic conversation

Sunny days, hot

Windy nights, cold

Blue top and bottom

Trouble sleeping

Life is about balancing

Life is about reacting

So until then

I am going to be fine

Until then

I don't have to use any makeups

And we won't be overthink about anything

But our future is a reflection

Of what we're doing right now

335. Life isn't not only about it

I know life is not only about that

But why am i so selfish?

It is about survive

It is about live in the moment but also think about the future

It is about many things 

Sometimes we talk about religion too

Sometimes we talk about our habits

Sometimes we talk about our sickness

It is a wide and wild thoughts of life

It is not simple even though we like something simple

We like simplicity, we like clean room, minimalist space

But we are not simple

We are complicated

The first minute fine, then the next minutes we are not fine

Heavy mood swing

Just live because we are alive

I don't know what's happening but i think this is me now

Confuse, lonely, i cannot find happiness

But somehow i understand that i have to create it to keep alive

Create my own happiness and no matter what happen.. that formula will not be affected at all

Everyone's struggling

There is no parameter, there is no level in this case

But i believe by the time.. Everyone always have their own choices

I become more sad if i cannot help others.

334. Routine Changes

Now i see how many entries I've been published here, 333 is not a joke. Writing is still healing for me and even if i have someone to lean on and as my safe place, but this blog will always be a part of me. I can't fully leave my writing habits since i am not easy to remember anything. So, it's been 14 months and still counting, i hope i get recover ASAP. It was easier for me to think about my goals 3 or 5 years ahead but for the next 1 year i only want to do one thing and consistently. Working again.

Usually, i only have a big picture but now i want it more details but still simple. I don't want to put a burden on my shoulder, and it worked now. It's obvious that i was tired but when i look previously 1 year of medication, it was like a bonus, i took a long break. It was a big decision ever. Routine changes, minimum activities, new people, let go of people, let go of many things, sleep and eat routine changes, etc. I know it's not like i ever imagine in my younger years but i know people out there is struggling much more than me. So, i am fine.. i will be fine. For the good things, it won't be easy. 

So this, like a reminder. Something to look back again in the future, something to remember that life is not that easy but worth to fight. All we can do is do the best. The purpose is to help so i have to help myself first. Through this post, i want to show that i am grateful. So many ups and downs without telling my people how it was but here we are with our own feet.