Now i see how many entries I've been published here, 333 is not a joke. Writing is still healing for me and even if i have someone to lean on and as my safe place, but this blog will always be a part of me. I can't fully leave my writing habits since i am not easy to remember anything. So, it's been 14 months and still counting, i hope i get recover ASAP. It was easier for me to think about my goals 3 or 5 years ahead but for the next 1 year i only want to do one thing and consistently. Working again.
Usually, i only have a big picture but now i want it more details but still simple. I don't want to put a burden on my shoulder, and it worked now. It's obvious that i was tired but when i look previously 1 year of medication, it was like a bonus, i took a long break. It was a big decision ever. Routine changes, minimum activities, new people, let go of people, let go of many things, sleep and eat routine changes, etc. I know it's not like i ever imagine in my younger years but i know people out there is struggling much more than me. So, i am fine.. i will be fine. For the good things, it won't be easy.
So this, like a reminder. Something to look back again in the future, something to remember that life is not that easy but worth to fight. All we can do is do the best. The purpose is to help so i have to help myself first. Through this post, i want to show that i am grateful. So many ups and downs without telling my people how it was but here we are with our own feet.
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